~~tHe FatHeR's HaNd~~

2010-03-01T01:53:00.002+08:00

I asked Kenneth, do you know this song?

At first he said no and then when it got to the chorus he said OH yes of course I know this song-

'So what is the song?'

'I don't know the title..'

'But you just heard it, it was in the lyrics!'

'Oh yea I heard - Livin' on...Air?'

Anyway folks, it is the second song on the playlist.

PLEASE tell me you have heard that classic before-

if not, why are you still my friend?!

2010-02-28T13:27:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO DO NOTHING IN THIS HEAT.

just lie there and get fried.

2010-02-26T18:14:00.001+08:00

I guess love would be nice for someone else's life.

2010-02-26T04:59:00.006+08:00

Loving the new template although it took a really long time to get all the html right especially for the playlist in the corner over there.
Man In The Mirror is playing (wait for it! it's the 4th song on the list) and it just brings back such such good feelys from all the way back in secondary school and JC which was when I got all exposed to MJ's dances. AC Dance camp; co-choreographed with Chrislyn our group's showcase. No prizes for guessing which celebrity dancer our group was named after.

Whoa and now Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap! Mia Michaels steps are doing a flashback in my head now...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Happy CNY to everyone btw.
And that's my Stage Manager and 4th floor neighbour Yini trying to tempt me into accepting one of her pineapple tarts!

On another note, Angel got a hair cut after CNY and now she looks a lot like a disgraced rodent than a dignified Ragdoll kitten.
I'm sorry Angel but bear with the cold for awhile it'll get better in a few months! :x

And while poor meow looks all bedraggled and thin as a rake, there's always the other end of the spectrum; I have eaten almost the entire box of chocolates that Kenneth bought! (okay not all at one go though, over a week-which is really out of my normal eating habit) :O

And after a few days,

POOF!

Only consolation I get now is that I'm drinking a lot more water because of the chocolates and the heat combined.
OH YES THE HEAT I HAVE YET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HEAT

Apparently bushfires occur the most during this period, after CNY and after the whole monsoon season.
Lucky me though, the air-conditioner is being delivered this weekend! All thanks to Mommy for paying for it and Kenneth for spotting the Carrefour advertisement. 7000 BTM portable a/c for just 299$ at Carre4, go and get yours if you haven't. Let us all avoid a heatstroke by leaving a carbon footprint with our a/c usage!

So what with the stress of the weather + projects + essays + midterms + hall production rehearsals, something had to give.
Thankfully Kenneth treated me to a pretty manicure last week after my ring nail broke. That nail now has an acryllic extension and I think the whole set looks surprisingly nice. :)

First time doing bling on mah nails, turned out okay so decided to grab some diy nail art. Doing your own nails can be very therepeutic.

Okay, my mind is finally slowing down for the day now at 5:40 in the morning.

Goodnight world, thanks for being here.

And thank you, yes, you.

The rose that never wilts
Sometimes brings me to guilt
For all the painstaking effort, wasted breath and sweat given
I can only hope to return a piece of self-made heaven.

2009-08-17T19:10:00.002+08:00

Current affairs.

I was reading about the progress of a nation, a rather familiar small country. I noticed that it had a lot to say about where they were, and where they have come since then. It was all good and jolly and mostly patriotic and inspiring, until I came across a certain section. It was about a man, who obviously spent most of his life in that country giving his two cents worth.

This particular individual was happy with the progress of the infrastructure, namely with transportation and the public works. I paused for quite a while actually, and I was wondering as to how much we are supposed to be thankful for what we have. I have always made it such a point that I am thankful that I have what I have, thanking those around me if they had a part to play in that. However, I think that that is exaggerated and overdone when even basic and normal progress of a society is brought out, and public opinion is shaped to be such that the point of - noone owes you a living, you'd still be in a hut in the woods if not for this administration. HOWEVER, has it dawned on that same group of people that this is very much the same thing that is happening all around the world? Are countries not developing at some pace or other?

My two cents worth; Noonne owes you a living. Play your part, and if this administration doesnt cut it, dont keep living in ignorance, find where you want to be!

2008-08-02T03:09:00.002+08:00

I am more than pissed.

No, I am more than sad.

Okay, whatever, put both together for all I care.

Suddenly whatever I pen down here doesn't seen to hold that much of a significance for me anymore
and it really pains me to say that.

I am desperate now.
I need a space.

Somewhere to call my own.

Something where I can block certain people out while remaining open to the whole world.

That's the whole friggin purpose anyway.
(It wasn't meant for you.)

You were the last people I'd ever invite.

Ironically, you're the 'closest' people in my life.

I'm so sorry faithful readers,
I have to do this.

I am going to have to either create a new url or totally leave blogspot for somewhere like wordpress or livejournal where password encodings and entry encryptings are accepted.
Can you believe blogspot won't allow password html codings?

The only loss that I feel here is that this place holds so so so much to me and it basically chronicles my entire emotional journey and yes, I still don't want to leave.

But I'm afraid sometimes new beginings mean the the uprooting of old bonds.

Goodbye, the other half of me.

2008-08-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

YESSSSSSS OKAY.

Finally a change in blog template- again.

Haha John, so this is what I've decided on from like the countless gazillion tabs I have opened on my Firebox browser. Won't be surprised if it really does do an application crash on me. About time too.

You can't hear me but I just heaved a sigh of relief.

The previous template which I don't think anyone caught was erm, had a nice impromptu image of two caricatures doing a duet- it was nice because I thought it encapsulated what I loved. That being Disney Duets. For the template was apply named and designed according to Aladdin's 'A Whole New World'.

But the font and spacing and alignment were so horrible it took me about a minute to realise that okaaaaay this is not the direction I'm heading towards.

Hah. Ah well, all's well ends well. No more b-i...oh nevermind templates!

Thanks John this time for giving his penny's worth of thought. And haha damnit John, there goes my 'I think for once I shall sleep early' claim.
Sigh. I always seem to find SOMETHING to occupy myself until it is too late to want to turn back and stop doing whatever I'm doing.
Gotta finish what I started.

(Which unfortunately doesn't apply to my application to math formulas etc)

And yessss now I shall plunge into the depths of my bed - although there's really not much to 'plunge' into considering it is a pretty hard surface for a bed in order to give my back and spine some support.
And oh oh oh Trivia 101 about me; Did you know that I had to be screened for slight scoliosis?

Bet you didn't.

2008-07-31T21:10:00.003+08:00

Reasons why studying with friends after school in the Hub can sometimes be gratifying and :D while still being totally random:

1) Caleb gave me a peck on the cheek from behind which totally caught me offguard.
And I was so happy initially UNTIL Bev said that he did that to edlyn too and god-knows how many other girls right. *pouts

2) Studying turns out to be pretty productive because the alumnus are really good and dedicated

3) As such, Johanna and I managed to learn the entire topic on Correlation & Linear Regression through a fifteen-minute 'sit-through' with this senior called Jonas. I mean, finally, I actually learnt some Math in school! Ha!

4) You realise that Johanna is really pretty good at Math. And you give yourself a mental knock in the head. Because you realise, oh shit, I am really thaaaaaat bad. (and haha I mean you no offense Jo!) :D

5) YOU GET FREE SANDWICHES/MILO/COOKIES FROM THE STUDENT COUNCIL WHICH ARE YUMMYLICIOUS :P (secretly I think people stay back for the free food.)

6) You get to shamelessly pile stacks and stacks of styrofoam plates (Charmaine goes 'THEY SHOULD SAVE THE EARTH!') filled with sandwiches one on top of the other and then slowly devour them plate by plate. And oh, it's got to be in layered order if not Mark will yak about displacing the balance of the plates.

7) The company is awesome. Thanks Mark, Jo, Char, Bev and Nat(:

8) And conversations instigated sometimes end with either stunned silence often of disbelief or racous laughter. Take your pick.

9) They sometimes go like this:

(Tushar happens to walk into the Hub and we try to duck and cower but to no avail so he still comes over anyway. And after awhile when he starts to leave..)

Tushar: Okay alright guys, I'm going to go now- Study hard; AND HAVE FUN!

All: ...... (Groans. We're attempting Math.)

Natalia: Well you know, the two events are mutually exclusive.

All: naaaaaaaaaaaat~

-OR-

(after doing practices for Correlation)
Johanna: I can't do this anymore, my brain can't take it.

Me: But, but, we're not done with Linear Regression yet!

Nat: (triumphantly) YOUR BRAIN IS REGRESSING FROM REGRESSION!

All: -silence-

--------------------------------------

Hahaha. And so you see, studying with lovely people often see lovely results.

And oh, not forgetting Reason Number TEN. You just might end up with a sprained ankle on your way back to the MRT Station after these studying sessions.
Hahaha okay seriously, I don't know what really happened but basically I tripped (again!) and sprained my right ankle (again!). And so Mark and Nat just stood there laughing for awhile until they realised I had really sprained it. Lol.
So luckily it wasn't a really bad one and I'm home now with my foot wrapped in ice. Talk about bad timing again because I have ballet class tomorrow and we have Pointe class. :/

Anyway, yes, that just briefly summed up my day and yay I hope that encourages everyone to stay back in school and studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Let us show the world that we Acsians are no closet muggers.

At least try la, can?
;)

2008-07-26T21:06:00.002+08:00

:D

Dear fancy-pansy-ransy journal,

Okay so quite a lot of things have happened since the last time I've blogged and so I'll try to kinda summarise my emotional journey and hopefully, growth as well.

1) AC Dance handover
2) ACSian Theatre handover
3) ...
4) That's A Star auditions

So now starting in chronological order, we had the AC Dance committee handover to the 2009 batch.
I don't know about the rest, but I thought it was a pretty touching moment and a very, very reflective moment for everyone. Especially the time capsule. Damn I'm such a sucker for things like that.
Anyway okay just to fill you guys in- basically this time capsule is something that was created during the previous Restless, Restless IV: Timeless, on the last day of warmups on stage. Everyone writes a little note, a message for the future generation of Restless dancers.
And a few pieces from that was read, which was really motivating and personally I felt it was a strong reminder of our purpose in dance and although our journey has almost ended, the magic and love created and shared is something so substantial that every single Restless never fails to be a sentimental one. To a joy beyond compare.
Once again I was reminded why I chose Dance and why everyone else did too. I don't think words can aptly decribe the ... the ...there, told you I couldn't do it.
Well.
I don't have to say anything, it's just something that simply has to be felt with the heart.

Go Dancers of 2009, it's time for you to show them what you've got(: And yes, make Restless VI a smashing one!

The whole week has really been a constant reminder and provider of jolts of reality. The Drama Handover was a more official event and again it was so amazing to just see these juniors really breaking out of their comfort zones in order to take on the new challenge and responsibility.
John, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but seriously- it has really been a pleasure to be able to work with you and despite our initial doubts/fears/skepticism about hahaha being a good Beauty&Beast, but hey we did it! ;D And that's all that matters. And I'm so happy to have found not just my Beast, but a friend and a confidante in you. So thankyou for everything. And now, you've only just begun(: Indeed, it might be rough, might be tough sometimes- but I trust you will always find the fun factor in all that you do. Spread the good vibe all around yo!
(: Thanks for being there.

And here's also another shoutout to the Drama Comm of 2007/2008, thank you for leading us faithfully for one whole year and I must say that it was a race well run. It really was. Thank you Jasmin especially for being ever so modest and humble about everything that you do, you are truly an inspiration and a role model to people who are blessed to work with you.

Ah.
Can you believe it's almost over?
Man they really weren't kidding when they told us that these would be the fastest 2 years ever of our lives.

I'm starting to feel the pinch.

):
Well now on to something more cheerful, haha okay maybe not really but just so you know, I was signed up to attend this audition for performers on a new virtual reality entertainment show which would feature undiscovered performers in the hope that they'd receive some exposure and perhaps some recognition for what they do.
Do check out www.thatsastar.com if you want to find out more, and I believe auditions are still open for certain categories so if you're interested, don't hesitate to sign up for it(:
Okay so yes, haha I sang 'A Change In Me' from Beauty&theBeast. I mean, it being my mantra for like close to seven months now, it was the most convenient choice right. Heh.
And yeap the good news is that I've been accepted. Okay actually honestly I don't know how much of a good news that is because I just know that I'm happy that yay you know it's like a small personal accomplishment for myself, but I think later down the road when I do watch/listen myself, I'm going to start asking myself 'what the hell was I thinking?' And that won't be the first or last time.
My close friends would probably know that I'm a very harsh critic when it comes to personal performance especially and it is very difficult to please yourself with your own performance because you're sitting there thinking that different parts could have been better if only...
If only.

Yes so basically that's all thats worth mentioning right now.

Thankyou also to my classmates who prayed for me and were so nice about everything.(: Jas, Ed, Mark, Bev, thanks.
And Bev you are really one of the most holy and God-centered people I've ever known- keep going with your fasting and prayers, I'm pretty sure you're a favoured one in the eyes of His.

So yes world, let us embrace what we have and get on with life. Find strength in special people or things around you, and I can assure you that they tend to be people who've always been there but we just so easily overlook everyday.

Thanks for 'keep(ing) me safe in a Crazy World'.

2008-07-23T01:57:00.002+08:00

Oh dear.
Haha how do you like this blogskin?

Because Annabelle dear has just told me that it is so not me and that it is very..
...
...
...
...
wait for it...
.
.
.
b-i-m-b-o.

Yea you got that right-

):
But I'm not a b-i-..oh nevermind.

Hahaha but seriously!
I think it's so naively adorable.
Very unlike me, yes I do agree. But that's the whole point yes? Something to signify a change, something..different. (:

Check out the song at the side there too --->
It's exactly how I'm feeling right now: quirky.
And I love how it doesn't alway make sense.

:D

<3 God bless.

P.S. I love you Belle. Now leave a tag. ;)

2008-07-23T00:59:00.002+08:00

NOW NOW EVERYONE.

(okay, or rather, what's left of everyone...)

CLARICE IS BACK IN STYLE YO.

hahaha no, actually she isn't-
She just had this sudden spark of I dont know, can it be called inspiration? But well basically, she's decided to get back on talking about her life now and guess what, if you haven't noticed...she's got a spanking brand new blogskin to celebrate the occasion!(:

*(with the help of kenneth haha)

So yes, yay, be happy!
Don't you think this place just makes you feel happy just by looking at it? Cause I sure do.

I think of nice things and Favourite Things and lovely things...

2008-01-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hm so yes, today wasn't exactly the best of days-
definitely one of the worst this year.

But I guess it's for me to learn...and better early than too late.

Although I do wish it didn't have to happen.

What eats me inside is knowing that it could have been avoided.

And also, I'm more pissed by the fact that she could have brought in the topic of my other stuff. It's not as though I'm going around bragging to the world or anything- in fact, I never did so!
I don't see the basis of her judgements.
I never asked to be raised above the others, never.
All the time I just wanted to fit in, blend in, do my thing without having to incur wraths or attract unnecessary attention.

All that I didn't ask for I get.

What's this supposed to mean,
An added blessing?

I think not, really.

Ergh.
Okay this will be over in no time, no time at all.

And for once and all, I'm never going to like Mary Poppins the way I used to anymore.
This is what life is doing to lives.

2008-01-22T23:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,

Thankyou for bringing me through the day, although it wasn't a good one, I know you have your reasons. And hopefully I'll learn from it. Give me strength for each new day. Bless my friends, my class, schoolmates, family- that everyone might find their strength in you. Lord, please also remember the dearly departed that they find eternal rest in you. Lord, heal those who are ill and seek your holy intervention.
I pray all this through your son Christ Jesus,
Amen.

2008-01-12T00:52:00.000+08:00

You know this is really stupid, and pointless.

This endless fight between myself and things like _______.

Endless I tell you, endless.

It doesn't stop!

And people ask me why I don't trust them?
AH!
Such hypocrisy.
Things were going really well you know

but its ok, this is merely but another pebble in my way-
I only have to kick it away instead of focusing on it and then stumbling over.

So it doesn't really matter right?
No matter how much I open up to embrace people around me, people put on faces and tell me things that I want to hear. But in reality, nah, they just want to run away from you.
Or just want to talk ABOUT you, and not TO you.

ah, the difference is great I tell you.

So hello everyone,
think whatever you want.
This is just a phase and I'm getting better at this, I swear I am.

Desensitized.

2008-01-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

The past few weeks have been.
Hm.. A whirl, to say the least.

Well things aren't exactly moving at a very fast pace..YET
But there's been quite a lot of things happening, or have happened and sometimes I'm caught offguard but I guess that's how it's supposed to be isn't it.
What's life with no surprises yea

Well so yes, 2007 has come and gone, and we're into 2008!
Shit, I'm gonna be legal soon.. 18! THAT IS SUCH A BIG NUMBER.
The more I think about it, the more I don't want to be 18.
And oh guess what,
My prelims START on my birthday.
How perfect?
:/

Well besides that, the usual blahblahblah routine has kinda set in already-
School.
Well really school is kinda encompassing, considering that branching from it comes drama, dance, homework, pressure, friends, love *cough*, ACJC FUN-O-RAMA!, Some Girl(s), Drama SYF, Pride & Prejudice, AC Dance Restless V... et cetera.(I quote Rosemary) ;D

And well besides school, let's see-
Hm It's My Life is doing well, we just had our photoshoot session yesterday and I got to meet all these fabulous people again after our brief meeting t'ward the end of last year.
Next week we're having our first recording session for our first number from the musical(: Bang Wenfu rocks, he just practically spurns music from the tips of his fingers- it just seems so easy for him. hah.
Okay well then, besides all of that, life has been..

Fulfilling.

A part of me can't wait for things to start rolling and stuff, but yet another part of me is just well, dreading what is to come.

Happy Epiphany everyone!
Today is the day (well assuming it is before midnight, sunday 6th jan) the 3 wise men/ kings pay homage to little Baby Jesus (:

2007-12-20T17:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry about the hiatus.

Sometimes I wonder whether people actually still bother about this godforsaken green corner.

Anyway, I've found some other greener corner to grow my grass on at
http://BambiEyes.moblog.com.sg

I will be there for quite a while, since its a contract-binding thing.

But no I won't forsake this place totally, it holds too much and knows too much to be gotten rid of just like that.
And so
I will be around occasionally to talk about things that sometimes don't fit it elsewhere.
You know, just things that come straight from the fingers without much thought really.

Just ramblings perhaps?

2007-12-06T02:47:00.000+08:00

2007-11-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

Bring me some snow, someone.

I have this feeling that Christmas wouldn't be perfect this year without the whiteness of it all.
The purity and cleansing that the season brings.

I've never seen real falling snowflakes before-
it must be a really pretty sight.

2007-11-28T18:13:00.001+08:00

If only it would snow this Christmas.

2007-11-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

Reverend Kenneth W. Collier
February 4, 2001
Palo Alto, CA

Stars fill the sky.
Thousands of specks of light
Lie scattered across the blackness
Like flakes of incandescent snow,
Drifting here and there
And swept clean by great
Cosmic winds that blow and sigh
And seem almost to sing in the night.

It is so fragile,
This sky, this star-sparkling sky.

It is so fragile
That something as evanescent as sunlight

Will shatter it
And scatter the broken shards like dust.

It is so fragile.

A smoky hint of finality
Drifts like clouds
Into the star-scattered night
And fills my heart with sadness,
As of something lost.

Even as I love the beauty of the sky,
I also love the fragility
That creates such a delicate balance.
I would not hold back the star-shattering light.
Even the stars must fall from the sky.

The deep, crystalline blackness fades,
And with an enormous crack
The night breaks open and the stars slip
Into the awakening light.
Afterward,
The grass will turn green,
And the gently rocking hills will soften.
Afterward.

But now,
When there is neither light nor darkness,
I cannot see where the stars go,
And I do not quite believe in grass turning green.

The sun rises and the sun sets.
The night falls like glass
And shatters into stars and stones.
And the sun rises once more.

It is like the sea that rises and falls
In waves that are as eternal as time.
It is like a dance that spirals and circles.

It is like the song the mermaids sing
That rings against the rocky shore
And echoes across the stones
And disappears into faint, shadowy mists
That catch the rising sun or the setting moon.
It is like the eagle that soars and circles disappears
Into clouds and glare and distance.

And it appears and disappears and appears again.

It never ends. In spite of the stars that fall Into the crack in the sky.

It never ends.

And what is this "it" that never ends? It is life. It is love, in all its complexity, pain, and joy. It is the holy beauty that drifts through our being here on earth and lights our way forward. It is the wisdom that tells us over and over that even though our hearts may break at moments and shatter like ice, the way lies forward, onward, into the next moment and the next moment and the next. It is that eternal instant when we know that we are loved and that this love builds and re-builds us over and over and re-invents us and constantly transforms the pain of grief into joy and back again as it leads us into the astonishing cleansing of the heart that is what grief is finally about.

And so, as your life unfolds, you will feel grief from time to time as you experience loss and the deaths of those whom you love. Do not be afraid of this grief. Welcome it. Embrace it. Move into it intentionally and openly. And allow it transform your life. For it is this very transformation that insures that you are still alive and still coming into the profundity of your own humanity.

2007-11-26T00:53:00.000+08:00

"My encounters with death have taught me this: that we will die and those we love will die. That thorny fact remains, as yet, unsolved by science; it gives meaning to our endeavours and it renders our endeavours meaningless. In the meantime, we must get on with what is both the simplest and the most awesome of tasks: we must dare to live." -Anonymous

2007-11-23T00:43:00.000+08:00

Less than 24 hours from my last post and so so much has happened.

1)Today was our first night of show and I think we did really well.. 3 more to go!

2)My gong gong passed away at around 6am today.
My spirits were quite badly affected by the loss

3)But my friends backstage are so awesome that I felt better being with them and I gained so much support from them

4)Thank you Frances, Beverly, Edlyn, Lesley, Jasmin, Pris, Deborah, Michael and so many others who gave the support I needed to pull through the night.

5)Thankyou to everyone else who responded to me with messages of encouragement and comfort.

6)

No, there is no 6.

I'm starting to forget things, not finishing my sentences.

Sigh.

Or maybe I'm tired and should just go to sleep now.
But no, I can't.
It just doesn't feel right.

I love you gong gong, thankyou for taking care of me.
You will always and forever be my favouritest gong gong.

I guess it's a comfort to know that you're in a much better place now.
And to know that well, I will meet you soon.

just wait for me, wait for me.

2007-11-22T02:30:00.000+08:00

IT'S TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW.

okay actually I'm not that nervous or anything really.

I'm looking forward to it I guess-
It seems so fast, like we only just blocked the whole thing.
And I really like this production, I love the whole storytelling mood..

Haha.
And I can't believe I'm saying this but:
I'm looking forward to Raj's warmups later!

Lol yes maybe I'm going mad too-
But I do miss the warmups we did in AC Dance.

Hahaha okay I know one day I will look back at this post and think 'what the hell?'
But well you see,
that's the joy of keeping a journal.

Especially if you're as temperamental as me. ;)

2007-11-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone.

I am on a quest to learn the guitar all over again. Like this time it's for real.
I want to be able to sing and play at the same time... without having to carry a keyboard around-
And the guitar would be the perfect alternative.

Has anyone tried plastering their fingers before to prevent blistering?
My fingers hurt quite a bit but at least they're not bleeding or anything. Yet.

Now just a gentle reminder:
Please get Arabian Nights tickets!
We'll be in theatre in less than 1.5 weeks!

if you already have, mwah I love you.
(x

Now I gotta get back to doing GP homework.

2007-11-02T04:15:00.001+08:00

"Great artists are people who find the way to be themselves in their art. Any sort of pretension induces mediocrity in art and life alike." -Margot Fonteyn

2007-11-02T04:05:00.001+08:00

Everyone please go and readup and find out about Margot Fonteyn- the greatest ballerina ever.

She's so special not because of her technique or her turnout or degree of arabesque etc,
but because she danced through and among adversities.
She danced til she was almost crippled, at age 67.
Sigh. It is a sad story.

but nevertheless, she left a legacy behind.
Something that transcends time and age.

Dancers are the true expressions of life,
And the true artistes of the stage,
for they have nothing to hide.
They bare their souls to audiences in the most truthful and honest of emotions and movements,
with only the choreography to provide some form of layer between the audience and them.
It comes from the inside out.

A dancer is life itself.

May you rest in peace with the Lord, Dame Margot Fonteyn.
(1919-1991)

2007-10-29T01:24:00.000+08:00

Perhaps one of the most clear and haunting call that serves as a gentle warning..

2007-10-29T01:11:00.000+08:00

Casting Crowns- Slow Fade

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

2007-10-23T12:15:00.000+08:00

Here I am at the bleachers trying my very best to edit the OP powerpoint slides and do research for my IS and on beauty and the beast, thinking that I found a quiet and peaceful place to work...
and beside me is this very very extremely irritating bunch of guys who are dota-ing and PSP-ing and screaming "AH THIS IS LIIIIFE.."
ARGH.

go away go away go away.

young people nowadays!

2007-10-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm going to be doing Beauty and the Beast for musical theatre! (:

I hope I've made a right choice though-

This song is called 'Home' and its one of the songs added specially for the broadway version.
I haven't watched it live before though. ): It should be a really different experience from the Disney one.

Tell me what you think about the song-

Personally I think its beautiful.

2007-10-17T23:19:00.001+08:00

And today I fell in love with the Esplanade.

.....

I'm sitting here today, thinking of something that would not usually have even crossed my mind on a normal day.

2007-10-12T02:11:00.001+08:00

You know what?
It sudddenly struck me why you and I would never work out.

And why we never did.

Simple things that we could never solve together. Simple things as friends that just.. just..
just irritates the hell out of me-

And ironically (or maybe, stupidly) enough, you always posed as this great big insurmountable challenge.
A challenge-
Sad, yes. But so, so true.

Perhaps that explains everything.

And yea, we never see eye to eye, but thats the thing isn't it?
we were never supposed to.

2007-10-10T01:16:00.000+08:00

2007-10-10T00:52:00.000+08:00

(:
back to doing something I love doing.

And who said skating was easy...

My awesome phototaking skills(:
(I'm actually better than most people okaaaay..)

I love Belle alot lot lot.
(And so Weili should share her w me)

xD

2007-10-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

and you know what,
contrary to popular belief-

I am not stressed.

why why why?
I WANT TO FEEL STRESS!

2007-10-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

and so it dawned on me that:
.
.
.
oh dear i have been neglecting my blog.

*insert guilty face*

anyway,
so drama theory's done! -throws Aristotle and Aeschylus in the air-

but then there's math tmr and LITERATURE.
charles dickens and aldous huxley please have mercy on me :X

ahhhhhhhh
litlitlitlitlit how?

i'm rambling arent i.
ah heck, i shall continue doing that. ramble.

i'm gonna give up on math, not the first time, and won't be the last anyway.

I'm just worried for lit, I don't want to failll. dear god no.
I didn't come all the way to a jc on the other far end of the island in the west in buona vista.. to fail literature.
D:

well ok that statement wasn't the wisest, but still. it reflects how i am feeling now! not very wise, not wise at all.

you know whats a sponge right, i think i'm like a sponge, i absorb things real quickly- but with a light poke or squeeze, everything just slips out.
i canttt mug for nuts.

FRIDAY PLEASE COME. RUN TO ME.

2007-09-23T01:36:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

teehee.

2007-09-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

I chanced upon this in someone's blog and I thought I might want to put this up into my bank of words and memories.

An Irish Airman Forsees His Death
I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above
Those I fight I do not hate
Those I guard I do not love
My country is Kiltartan cross
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before
Nor law nor duty bade me fight
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds
I balanced all, brought all to mind
The years to come seemed waste of breath
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

And now this belongs in my bank of words and memories.

2007-09-23T01:22:00.000+08:00

Hillsong - Always
Did you rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that
I may know your majesty.
Is your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see your face
Ever I will seek you

Cause all you are is all I want, always
Draw me close in your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with you.

Can I feel you in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have you
Capture me again.
Let the earth resound with praise
Can you hear as all creation lives?
To glorify one name?

2007-09-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

No,
i am actually really starting to see things in all their glory
And realising that i've been blessed loads and that I just have to stop and remember it all.

To be reminded, simply put.

To be grateful, simply put.

And then to believe

that all things will work out in His time.

2007-09-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

things were going fine.

until you had to have one of those tantrums again-

freak.

And it suddenly dawned on me why I am like that. Why I react to things this way.
Why I am different when faced with people of authority. Why I speak this way.
Why I'm not like ____ or why can't I be ____.

I'd say it over and over again.. childhood leaves the deepest marks and etches the lines and the pathway for an individual.
It's another thing to want to go against that 'conditioning', because it's possible,
but it's very hard. Tougher than others would think it is.
But then of course they won't understand, how can they? And you can't blame them for not doing so.

But it doesn't matter that much to me now. Such things pale in comparison as the months, years go by.
And sometimes I wonder if I've actually learnt and matured and grown up, or am I just plain ignorant of it- choosing to act like a child again.

And yes , so maybe my hiatus wasn't valid.

2007-09-09T02:14:00.001+08:00

I think I shall be going on a month-long hiatus.

Pardon me.

2007-09-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

it's tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!

2007-09-01T15:50:00.000+08:00

INVENTIO IN LESS THAN A WEEK'S TIME.

D: D: D:

People, holla for tickets okaaaaay- it's gonna be an awesome night, I just know it.

INVENTIO '07
ACJC Drama Elective Programme
J1 Promotional Exams showcase
Thursday, 6th September
7.30pm, DBS Arts Centre- Home of the Singapore Repertory Theatre
$10 Free Seating

comecomecomecomecome.

2007-08-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

This is worth watching a million times.

Actually I came across this video very randomly many years back, when I was still in lower Sec- and today I saw it again, and I think it's very apt.

Just click on it, it's got a beautiful melody line with awesome lyrics.

I hope that makes you feel better.

2007-08-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

This is my five hundred and first post.

When all things come crashing down, you realise that there's only one Constant that remains.

Will someone please tell me whats going on?
I'm really confused. At points I think I'm doing fine, and then out of a sudden it all crumbles and I'm back at square one.
And then you know how it feels to have to rebuilt it all over again.
Like how when you're blogging halfway and then your entire post decides to play hide and seek and never show up again-? multiply that by a hundred.
now thats how it feels.

The sinking, dreadful, twisted feeling
of disappointment
lost hopes
crushed dreams
and all of that.

Or maybe I'm just being a bitch for overreacting, but then again, don't I have the right to?
You know, I'm trying hard to control it, I really am.
The fact that I'm not screaming into anyone's face (yet) is because of the plain fact that I'm holding it in, and I'm quite proud of myself really- for being able to hold it all in..and. and well, I don't know what else follows next.
For a moment, I thought you were a very nice person, a truthful, endearing person, and I even spoke up for you. Thinking about it now, I don't know what made me do that.

So now I don't know what to think.

And a part of my brain screams out in protest everytime I try to think.

Gahh
the pain behind my eyes just came back, probably just to taunt me I guess.
Thankyou for adding salt to injury.
Thankyou for 'topping it all off'.

2007-08-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday I told you 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see
Is just another lemon tree

I'm turning my head, up and down
turnin turnin turnin turning around
But all that I can see
is just another lemon tree.

Remember the song?
I typed that out purely from memory.
I saw the words 'I wonder' beside gerdine's nickname and the song just sprung to mind.
And it reminds me of..
of the old times when i thought yellow was hip, and when yellow was my absolute fav colour
because i was in yellow team in primary school.
Then there were those days when we celebrated my paternal grandma's birthdays at chinese restaurants in hotels that had those karaoke thingys and the all of us cousins would pick Lemon Tree and scream into the microphones.
Nice init, to think about then.

But heave ho wind and weather

We have to live in the present.

Alas?

2007-08-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

Thank you everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes on msn, friendster, facebook, sms, phonecalls.
(:
love y'all.

and oh, you guys should watch this soo. tell me what you think of it.(:

2007-08-05T15:46:00.000+08:00

hahaha. i love my pw group
although it is true that we do nothing but rant.
(x

2007-08-04T21:41:00.001+08:00

Something's eating me from the inside out.

But I can't bring myself to stop it.
Eugh

Okay I hate school. It's official. ):
I hate teachers.
No wait, I like some of my teachers actually.

Ah whatever, it doesn't matter already.

2007-08-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

If someone's wondering why I'm suddenly not updating as often as I used to,
Well,

Let's just say that nothing's been worth blogging about so far.
Either that or I'm simply taking things for granted and not seeing it's importance or relevance.. or I'm just simply too lazy to do so.

Anyway, a year has passed and I will turn 17 in a few days time..
(my last chance to sing 'I am 16 going on 17'!)

And tis' is a time where relatives gather at my place, along with friends too, enjoying each other's company-
So yea, it's the annual bbq-cum-birthday-cum-gathering at my place and I'm inviting anyone who wishes to come as long as you're free on the 11th and you inform me before this coming monday.

Details are as follows (well actually there aren't that many really)

Time: 7pm til 11 or so
Place: Bbq pit 2B Melville Park condo
24 Simei Street 1
#10-16
If you're entering by the side gate and the guard asks, say you're a visitor and quote the block (Ruby) and unit number.
The nearest MRT station: Simei station, East-West line. (Just after Expo/Tanah Merah)
Buses: 9, 38, 12
If you're coming from Simei station, take 9. From Tanah Merah, all 3 bus services can get you here. Provided you take it from the right side,(hahaha) so please call me before you actually board the bus!

Leave a note on the tagboard or email me at lclaricecas@hotmail.com to say that you wanna come or smth so I can sorta tell my mommy how many friends are turning up.(:

See y'all.

P.S. And oh yes, if you're coming and you want to swim/do tennis/squash/badminton/table tennis/gym(I will glady accompany you)/play street soccer/basketball/ whatever, inform me okay so I can book the places and make arrangements

2007-07-23T23:42:00.001+08:00

I love PW and PW loves me.

Yes, I need to adopt this mantra into my life-

God please help me pull through all this. I know that everything actually really is peanuts to you and I'm sure that one day I will look back and wonder why I ever thought I was in a bad predicament because I'd probably be in something 10 times worse then.
Grant me the strength, the wisdom, the PERSERVERANCE and a positive mindset to face each day with a fresh mind and with a love and passion for knowledge.
Help me be someone who is accepting and to always remember to be thankful for what I have.
Lord you know the deepest thoughts of my heart and you of all people will understand the needs in my life, help me to trust you wholeheartedly always.
Amen.

2007-07-21T00:55:00.001+08:00

So what are you trying to say?

Say it to me.
I want to see your face when you say it.

2007-07-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

So you ask, anything I've learnt after being thrown into JC's 'way of life'?

I pause, think for awhile. And reply

Oh yes, that you're never duly rewarded according to how much work you've put in. Everything seems to work the other way round around here. It's never proportionate. And the lucky ones in life always get luckier.
And of course not forgetting, that there is no such thing as.. a class.
And no, I'm not complaining, I'm merely stating solid facts down as what they truly are to the eye. No one really goes to school for the sake of school anymore. You know how in the past in secondary school we always say we're going to school just because of our class or just because of this group of people we love to hang out with? Those times are over. Now it's..I go to school only because if I don't I know I'll get screwed by my parents/teachers/____. Or, I go to school only because I want to secure a good future for myself.

It's become all,
Less human.

I don't really like school anymore.
But I want to like it, I really do. I'm trying my best to like it, I really am.

But then again, I've lost my purpose and meaning for it.
What's left of school when you don't have things to look forward to?
Or when you have things you don't want to face don't want to hear don't want to see don't want to know.

Bah.
No one ever understands how it feels. Precisely because it's individual- it's something that varies with each person.
So, I won't be able to understand how you feel either, but I can just possibly be feeling something clooose to it but not it.

Yes
I'm grateful that there are actually still SOME people I can look forward to meeting or hanging out with or trusting,
so I guess it's not so bad right?
I need to be thankful for what I have right now.
I shouldn't be worrying over trivial matters like .

because it will all be taken care of in His time. I shouldn't needn't and musn't worry.
Help
I need something to make me relax and chillllllllll
Like. DON'T BE SO FRICKIN CONCERNED AND UPTIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.
like.be less sensitive.
like. learn how not to be naive.
like. how to ignore things.
how to ignore mean things people say.
or do
or think

how to be seemingly nonchalent and .
and wash it all out of my system.

I need a major thrashing out session. Will someone please lend me their ears, and perhaps a box of Kleenex too.
or maybe I'm just being oversensitive.
But wtfffff I CANT HELP BEING .
or feeling this way.

and then, it goes in a vicious cycle
because now I dread the daily chore of going to school.
of going back there, seeing these faces and then double-guessing my responses, or imagining what these people might be thinking or saying when I'm not around. Do I sound like I'm going mad?
I must be.

Somebody please help me like it.
Do something to motivate me.

If not, I'll just be giving you all more oppurtunities to talk about me when I'm not there.
And that's not supposed to happen right.

2007-07-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

A good stretch always feels sublime.

No matter how sore or tired your muscles are after it, you feel so much better. About yourself, about your body as a whole.
Stretching is all about..

Raising the limits.

I have this theory that the most flexible people have the highest tolerance level and are probably really disciplined when it comes to things that they want to achieve.
And that there is no such thing as a limit.

So we should all learn from these people and start our own stretching regime.
Who knows,
you just might become more tolerant with people.

2007-07-18T11:54:00.001+08:00

yucks.

2007-07-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

enough is enough, right?

Yes.

Smile when your heart is aching

Smile even though its breaking

when there are clouds in the sky you'll get by

if you smile.

So, just smile!

2007-07-15T01:00:00.001+08:00

How each memory softly burns.

These memories, like brandings on my skin,

covered up and just almost fully recovering-

when the wounds opened up again with this new round of. of. insults? comeback? retribution? abuse? tradition? FILIAL PIETY?

So.

Being CHINESE, am I supposed to submit humbly and not do anything and just bow and kowtow and take the blows silently and not talk back?

now you know why I hate being chinese. I dont want to be like this, always giving in.

I dont want to be stuck in this.

can i leave this place, please?

and don't blame me when you see that I'm sucha loner, or that I may seem like a two-faced bitch, or a manipuating freak.

because although i never saw myself as that-

I finally know WHY. why others who dont know me well will say that of me.

Because I have been trained to do this.

2007-07-13T14:36:00.000+08:00

awww.

a big thankyou to my pw teammates-
sorry I couldn't be there today,

those words made my day.

see you all tmr.

2007-07-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

And so that explains why.

WHY

why you've been treating me that way
why you've ALL been seeing me in that light
why you call me names
why you ..

but then. thanks for doing that because it just made me close up more, and I think I like this me quite a bit too.
Clarice the introvert. Maybe you'll like me better this way.

MAYBE THIS IS MY WAKE-UP CALL.

or maybe you misinterpreted me.

Because all I wanted was a fresh new start, a new beginning-
Whatever I did to you in the past, was done unintentionally, and I never expected you to take it this way.
And it's only about a year or two later that I've finally found out. No one told me before.

No
One.
And I cant help but ask, why?

You see, there are sides to me that sometimes I reveal or block out unknowingly. I can't control it and if I had a choice, duh I would want us to be like happy people alltogether like how we were 3 years ago. If you were there, perhaps you could have screamed in my face or shouted something to make me realise that I was doing something wrong, that I was hurting the people around me in some way and affecting the rest who didn't even know me.

So.
Why?
Why didn't anyone wake me up earlier?
Then perhaps I could have saved and salvaged many friendships that I've lost now.
Then perhaps we would all still be talking.
Then perhaps we could still be hanging out.
And perhaps you'd be over at my house next month to celebrate my 17th birthday with me, just like in the past.

But then because of what I have done, I had to sacrifice all that. My relationships with people, emotional and psychological connections and endearments, and feelings. So much.

And now you don't even want to talk to me anymore. I sensed it long before but I just didn't know what or why you were treating me that way. It was so frustrating!
But I guess I have myself to blame,right?

And I can't do anything now, but just to hope.
For some sort of forgiveness, or higher intervention that will bring me some sort of peace.

I'm sorry.
to all of you out there.

And to you, I don't know if you'll read this, and I don't know if you'll reject this even if you do read it. I'm not asking for us to go back to the past and resume the way we all were then because I know that that's impossible. I'm asking for your understanding and forgiveness and I hope that things will soon be cleared.

How apt, perhaps this really is the wake-up call.

2007-07-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

Have I morphed?

to become someone unrecognisable-

Because I feel like I'm sticking out like a sore thumb.
Well as gabriel put it, I'm like. The Nomad.
Not grounded, not firm, no roots, no foundation
Just floating everywhere, skimming things, scratching surfaces.

That's the worst feeling ever, to be there and yet actually not really there. Perhaps like you're just a spirit that people have the right to see-through or not be sensitive about.
And I mean, I thought those days were over- the days when things like that seemed to matter.
It's all supposed to be faded and gone, but then why is it recurring? And why can't I answer these questions anymore?

Do you know how it feels like?
To feel as though nothing is there permanently and to be sharing everything with everyone else?
School has become meaningless because I don't look forward to it- there's simply nothing to look forward to. School is something, someplace that I'm sharing with two thousand others, just sharing.

So what's a nomad supposed to do?

2007-07-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

pissy mood.

blehh.

take two steps back and.. Breathe.

Okay, feeling much better.
And who was the one who said equality among genders was what?
-_-

I feel murderous.
Well okay not really, just very,

Pissed.

2007-06-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

I don't know if it's a sigh filled with regret, sadness,

or simply just a self-defeatist attitude.

Yes John and Gabriel, we will NOT concede defeat. Work harddddd and don't give up.
(why am i doing this, isn't it supposed to be the other way round?)

Anyway, I realise that I have been using 'anyway' aloooot of times in my speech, the way i type, blah. Does this mean that my attention span is rapidly dissipating? :S

And. I think I'm reaching this stabilising point in my development that I don't want to reach.
I mean, it's like I feel as though I'm becoming stagnant.
Like I don't put that much effort into studying anymore, I'm not reading as much and as often as I would have had in primary school, I'm not engaging myself in more good ol' mind stimulating activities and I'm becoming lazierrrrrr, I'm starting to realise that I'm starting to decay

Rot.

.
.
.
Nooooo
I must strive for self-improvement,
always and forever.

I don't want to grow up realising that I have lost so much time dillydallying during my youth that the younger generation has caught up with me and perhaps will overtake me before I get my first real proper job.
Oh, the horror. :O

I need to keep moving.
Move!
Always be on the move.

The day you stop moving is the day you get left out and then you'll really start regretting.

Don't wait for the government to launch self-improvement campaigns for our generation to make us snap back and realise that we are lagginggggg.

That's the worst feeling ever,
to be the last to know.
to be The Outdated.

So, to all who're reading this-
this is just a gentle reminder(and caution) to whatever that might be lying ahead.
When you feel like giving up or stopping, take a step back, consider what might happen if no one else stops, and then you'll want to start moving again.
Sure, you're tired- take a breather, give yourself a well-deserved break once in a while, but remember you've got to earn that break.
You jolly well Earn it.

So let's get a move on, people.

Will you be dispensable or indispensable?

2007-06-22T20:27:00.001+08:00

youtube/msn is addictive. :O

wait, didn't I know that already?

will someone just sit beside me and shout at me to study and concentrate.
concentrate.
concentrate.

2007-06-22T01:33:00.000+08:00

la la la

Singing is such joy.

Anyway,
ACJC band's concert 'Muse' was awesomeeeeee man.

EUNICE OLSEN played Rhapsody in Blue okay.
For those who don't play the piano, Rhapsody in Blue for the piano is a damn damn damn difficult, abstract, jazz, higher-than-diploma, 20-pages-plus Piano piece.
Okay so maybe it's not more than 20 pages, BUT YOU GET MY POINT.
My diploma friends are er, struggling with the piece.
And lo and behold,
eunice olsen comes onstage sporting this really sexy bareback black top with flared black dresspants that makes you wonder if she was there to host another episode of Front's Fashion scene or to perform on the piano.
But yea, of course, the baton starts waving and you see eunice's concentration put wholly on those keys. she doesn't even look at the the conductor or the score when she's playing.
(but yea no one playing Rhapsody in Blue properly would be using the score because it's just one hugescrambledupmoshoflittleblacktaogays that you can't really refer to it even if you wanted to.) :/
and so.
watching her makes me veryy demoralised.
I start to think "oh shit. maybe I should really start practising my Chopin and fantasie impromptu properly.."guilty guilty guilty.

wails.

But yes, about the concert,
LOVED IT.
I loved the first piece, and the alumni percussion Brazillian piece, the awesome last 4 movements from Arabian Nights, and omggggg the JAZZY LITTLE NUMBER. I mean, the so uber hot/sexy/smoldering/suave/(haha) brass ensem. The trumpets were the sexiest I swear. And Jayne agrees. The trombone was not bad too. JOHN SEOW THE TROMBONIST FROM SA should have been there man! John, if you're reading this, you're supposed to be feeling sorry that you didn't get to watch the top band of Singapore play. Heh. And guess what John, they played "Oh when the SAINTS go marching in.." How patriotic and apt if you had been there. I'm sure you would have burst out into song. Teehee.

Jazz is so sexy.

MichaelBuble rocks and NathanHartono is just-

just making all the girls melt.

aiya.
I better go already. i've got piano lesson first thing in the morning :/ :/ :/

2007-06-18T01:18:00.001+08:00

What does it mean when you suddenly ask more questions than ever?
What does it mean when you suddenly want to know more and read His Word?
What does it mean to hunger for deliverance?
What does it mean to experience total peace with oneself?
What does it mean when you want to change the way you live?

It just means that you've been touched by the Holy Spirit.

Praise the Lord.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." -Ephesians 2:10

17th Youth In The Spirit Seminar 2007.

2007-06-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

I shall be away for 4 days from 14-17th (Thurs to Sun) at a church spirituality retreat.
(:
So yep, if you need to contact me, text me anytime but I'll only reply you that night or the next morning-
And don't call me if it's not urgent because I have to conserve battery. Hahaha. (x

Enjoy yourselves!

P.S. Sorry Belle/Eelaine/Pheobe I can't meet you guys on Friday ): I swear if I could, I would. Meet another day to go ice-skating etc please?

2007-06-12T18:06:00.000+08:00

I swear it's been ages since I had a background embedded song.
And so here it is.

Chanced upon it while browsing other blogs and it kinda hit me.

I put it on loop so yea you can leave it playing over and over again(:
ENCOURAGEMENT FOR Y'ALL!

jiayou jayones, we will weather the terms! ( i mean, afterall it's only the terms.)
(haha oh-kay dont look at me that way.)

Take time to read the lyrics of the song, perhaps it'll help.

It's been a bad day
You've been looking back
And all you can see is everything
you wish you could take back
All your mistakes
A world of regrets
All of those moments
you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe
Let me refresh your memory

Chorus
Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So, leave it all behind you
But let it always remind you
of the day
The day that love made history

You know you can't stay right
where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk
into today
And don't let your past get in the way

Would you believe
that you are history in the making,
in the making?

Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making

(:
whatever you do, leave it all behind in history and start again.

click refresh.

2007-06-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

My parents think that I have a boyfriend.

o.O

"Why aren't you home yet. Where are you now, meeting your boyfriend right. Better call me back now."
wtf.

Sometimes I feel ashamed just by reading those text messages.
They don't believe me, neither do they trust me- but whatever, it's not like I can force them to believe me.

So perhaps I really should get attached soon, then hey, I would be really confirming their doubts if that's what they want. (which probably isn't, considering that my mother never fails to interrupt my explanations with commands such as 'you'd better concentrate on your studies only' which I'm sure must have contained the subtle trace of hint.) my mummy can be such a coward sometimes.
They're really just too conservative to even want to talk about this directly with me.

Oh help,
at this rate, when am I ever gonna get married?

:O

2007-06-07T20:05:00.001+08:00

Thank you thank you thank you so much nick.
<3

Can't stop listening to it.

2007-06-05T00:26:00.000+08:00

HOIST THE COLOURS!

(:

"Yo ho, all together, Hoist the Colours high / Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die!"

someone, please buy me the soundtrack of POTC:At World's End.
please please please.

"..the world has become smaller."

"No. The world's still the same.

There's just less in it."

2007-06-03T21:12:00.001+08:00

Hello people!(: I need you guys to do me a favour- I've just done up a survey for my PW and I really need statistics etc. to continue with the project. Please help me by taking some time to complete the survey. Thanks loads!((:

http://freeonlinesurveys.com/rendersurvey.asp?sid=0snf3ecwba9musy308605

2007-06-02T18:36:00.000+08:00

WILL YOU BE HAPPY THEN?

will you be happy if you slap me/kick me/throw me out of the house/kill me/feed me to the dogs/get rid of me

-then why do it?

somtimes I swear I wish I never had you for a father .

Or you guys can just file for a you-know-what and I'd live happily with mum or by myself.

I WILL BE SEVENTEEN SOON.
I WILL NOT SUBMIT TO YOU THAT EASILY.

Mark my words.
If you think you've seen the worst of me,
then brace yourself.

Because you haven't seen the last of me yet.

2007-06-01T00:54:00.001+08:00

PLMGS Class of 2006

Graduands’ Thanksgiving

Service cum Prize Presentation
will be held for the entire graduating cohort, and will be this year’s equivalent of the Founders’ Day Services we had in the past.

Date:evening of 27th July 2007,

Friday
If you have any queries, please contact any member of PLPB Exco '06.
and please please spread the word through MSN, word of mouth, or paste this onto your blogs! (:
Thank you!
---------------------------------------------------------------

All class of 2006 PL-lites! Please take note and spread to everyone you can alright? See you back in the sheltering walls
((:

2007-05-31T13:42:00.000+08:00

What's blog-worthy enough to be blogged about, I ask myself.

Nothing. I answer myself.

We finished our CIP project at the Sembawang Community Library and we had quite a whale of a time trying to control 27 young children. I mean, yea sounds like a small number- but HEY, it was TOUGH and tiring okaaaay.

And haha Jasmin and the rest of us have crossed out Kindergarten/Primary school teacher from our wannabe job list. Kudos to my kindergarten and primary sch teachers. (:

DONT THEY LOOK ADORABLE.

okay.
Kids are only cute in pictures.

2007-05-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

Restless was a blast.
It was more than a blast.

I am reminded once again that I am so fortunate to be part of this special group of people.

..and we will all miss the J2s dearly.

2007-05-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

get restless, baby-

get RESTLESS.(x

all the way AC Dancers!

2007-05-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

that bagpipe

the sole instrument.
so haunting
so clear
so

vulnerable.

what drove neil to shoot himself- was it the nonconformist attitude that keatings had instilled in him?
was it even keatings' fault?
was the society smth that encouraged inpulsive and reckless behaviour?
or did it provide space and allowed for free-thinking?

why. why must blood be spilt for a point to be made.

is being in an ivy league school a marker of superiority?
does that guarantee happiness, does it give confirmed success, and will it grant a future?

there's so much, so much to question.
but yet
we who are alive cannot tell.

ask the poets-
ask the dead poets.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own- even though others may think them odd or unpopular.”

“Two roads diverge in the wood, and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.”

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute.

2007-05-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

THEASTHAI WAS A SUCCESS((:

well to me it was because I thought every single one of us put up an awesome performance.
yay Deppers we did it! :D

thankyou to all who took the time to come down and support us-
teachers (MS SNG!), friends and seniors.
All the j2 Deppers (thank you for the chocolates!)
Nick, Caleb, Szu, Steven, Dheraj, Jeanette and all the rest who were there
not forgetting the madams, mr Ibrahim, the front of house ppl, and wonderful backstage crew (Cheryl & Roxanne!) without whom we would have never been able to stage this successfully.
(x

we did our best, and have no regrets! lol.

mwah.
i love you guys.

2007-05-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

Things are starting to look better,
or at least I think they are.

THEASTHAI IS IN TWO DAYS TIME
!@*&^$%@!#

2007-05-13T02:12:00.000+08:00

On a cheerier note-

Just now we had the Labour of Love cast and crew reunion.(:

I love all you people.
You just made my weekend so much meaningful, after all that the schoolweek had plonked on me.
At least it was a relief to know that there is something that I can hold on to. Or well, something I had.
Pretty sad it's all over- it's the musical withdrawal symptoms
It's not too bad now, not as bad as in 2004 after TheFather'sHand. That one, heh, everyone couldn't let go. We were all clinging tightly to whatever memories we had of it. Well, that was our first musical so I guess it had that much more sentimence and meaning.
I'm getting use to it. I swear I am.
At least I have to tell myself I am.

This will all come to pass.
CCA, school, everything-
Grin and bear
Grin and bear
Grin and bear.

2007-05-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

I swear I feel detached from everything.

And as I sit here, I'm wondering how come so much has changed just within the span of a few days.
So many things.
Mostly negative.

And so many things coming up-
also mostly things that I am not looking forward too.

How about summarising it all up in one word:
School.

The grass always looks greener on the other side-
because I'm starting to look at myself and wonder wth am I doing here in jc.
Sure, I used to want it real bad. But when you attain what you wished to, things change. Your viewpoint changes.
You meet new people. You make mistakes- silly ones.
And end up in a whole new load of shit.

AND IT'S AN EFFING CYCLE ALL OVER AGAIN.

will this never end?
university? working life? family life? marriage life?

),:

2007-05-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

Thanks Jeff and Gabriel for replying(:

Anw.
Anyone who's got a female ancient Greek costume or can get one from friends/school/cca/whatever please please please let me know okay? I need a greek costume for my performace exam. =/

helphelphelp.
this is just so-
URGH.

2007-05-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

urgent:

Anyone who has the French movie called "The Chorus" also known as "The Choir Boys" and "Les Choristes", PLEASE CONTACT ME.

2007-05-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

If it's just the beginning,
and people say "You're only just starting to warm up-"

then what will life be soon?

If this is simply manageable, then what will it be called a few months down the road?

So onwards comrades,
as we embark on the journey again, that never ending cycle.

The A levels are slowly encroaching around us.
but at least PW and Chinese will be done by this year-
well, they'd better be.

I am sorely lacking in focus and motivation.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord, allow me to make the most of whatever I have been given, and to see the best out of everyone and everything. Grant me the strength and focus I need to get through each day. Help me to do things wholeheartedly, with committment and passion. Lastly, I pray that you bless and grant peace to all who might be going through times of diffiulty and struggle. I ask all these in Your name,
Amen.

2007-05-07T00:19:00.000+08:00

And it's emotional turmoil all over again.

I hate this, I swear, I hate this.

I hate myself for being so vulnerable. I hate myself for being so sensitive.
WHY OH WHY.

and what WHAT have I done??

you, yes you- you have probably no idea what you've done or how much you've affected me. But seriously, you should be ashamed of yourself.
If you dont tell me what I did wrong, how do you even expect me to change?
And people sometimes need others as mirrors, to tell them of their faults. Not to bite back, not to criticise, and definitely not to drag them down.

I don't know your name, but if you claim to be my friend, then I suppose you're one of those who aren't worth keeping as a friend.

I'm equally disgusted by you.

P.S. I'm sorry, Kester.

2007-05-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

How every girl wishes to have a Mr. Darcy-
or to be crossed in love every once a while.

It is that want that remains so fresh, so realistic, so raw
that makes it a true classic.

Something everyone can share.

I guess there's an Elizabeth Bennett in everyone out there.

2007-05-04T00:49:00.001+08:00

Got this from Chu's blog and I thought it was interesting.

Haha now I'm looking forward to this new film! (:

2007-05-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

Highlight of the day:
MANAGING TO SQUEEZE 12 PEOPLE INTO AN MPV!
:O

hahaha.
we did that okay!
lol thanks alot Lesley, and Lesley's parents!

All 11 of us got into the car after the Laselle Dance showcase. hahah it was hilarious I tell you.
Kester, YunNing, Frances, Charmaine, Edlyn, Dharshini, Beverly, June, Gabriel, Lesley and I- haha I had to sit on Dharsh's lap, and June sort of sprawled over Gabriel and Beverly. LOL

Anyway,
the dance showcase by the students at Laselle was amazing. it was modern ballet and contemporary dance.
I loved the first solo one with the white marble table, she was en pointe and her extensions were fabulous- her turnouts and 180degree ponches were great.
The last one was haunting too. Haha, but it was smth we could all relate to because it was based on the greek play Oedipus. And for DEP we're learning about Greek history, so it was all very apt. Loved the puppeteering parts and the random clash in music and the rigid movements. It would be a pretty abstract piece for those who aren't in the know of Oedipus.

GP calls.
And unfortunately, I have to answer it-

2007-05-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

Say gooodbye to the days of bright floodlights, dancing, loud makeup, frantic changing of costumes and the anxiousness 5mins before every single show-

And say hello to the world.

We're going back to reality,
Reluctantly.

2007-05-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

Today's our last 2 shows!

heh. We appeared on the news last night and on the front page today-hahahaha.
make the best out of today!(:

Thank you guys for coming down to support. Bev, Edlyn, Kester! ;D

Taas. Gotta run.

2007-04-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

<3

Reminds me of the days when I still had time to daydream.
to hope and dream- that it would all happen to me.
That's what makes Korean drama so charming, they never fail to recreate this new world where you're invited to indulge and share in, to be a part of.
Living in a constant fantasy, one that you never have to wake from -
but then of course you have reality, chasing and catching up on you, forcing you to take the red pill, and to return to whatever you left behind after so long.
And then you find yourself in a magical maze, a place where the maze always changes, leaving you in a new one- a fresh problem to tackle everytime.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, back to reality.

I heard the advertisement for 'Labour Of Love' on Power 98! :D :D :D

hahaha.
And oh, I have about 7 complimentary tickets for the 2nd May 8pm show, the seats arent that great but still, what's there to complain when you get it free and others pay 60 bucks to get it? Hah. it's at NUS University Cultural Centre btw so if you are free on the 2nd, which is a Wednesday, contact me soon before tickets run out.

And not forgetting, RESTLESS IV! please please please get tickets from me. I still have to sell tickets for 23/24 May! They're going at $25 and if you're from ac, you can use your Edusave. If you're not and you really wanna watch it but need some sort of financial asistance, err-contact me and I'll try to pay some for you or smth.

Email me at lclaricecas@hotmail.com or leave me a message online if you want tickets to either of the above performances.

Yes yes yes, ONE MORE:

THEASTHAI @ DBS Arts Centre-Home of the SRT
19th May, Saturday night.
$10
A performance showcasing short duologues and monologues by the ACJC Drama Elective Programme (2nd batch) J1 students for the very first time.
Please show your support for them by taking the effort to come down and watch their term exam pieces!

Yes yes, do support us.
It'll be our very first DEP performance exam-
=/

P.S. Dennis, I'm not ignorant to all the tags okaaaay. This goes out to all who've tagged too- my tagboard always never loads when I try to reply tags. 'Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage" is all I get. I'm starting to wonder why others can use it when it refuses to work for me. So yea, I think I might get a new one soon.
And thanks for tagging btw.

2007-04-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

Time is of the essence. Time is of the essence.

And I swear, time has been slipping out of my hand just like that for the past few days.

Saturday: Dance 10.30am-2pm
NTUC musical rehearsal 3-11pm
Sunday: Church 10.30am-12pm
NTUC musical rehearsal 1-10pm

I'm so screwed because I havent completed my final PI and then there's the GPP. AND THERE'S ECONS ESSAY.
And memorising of DEP monologue script-
plus I'll be missing like 4 school days because of the musical.
Dead. So dead.

And then there's Theasthai coming up on 19th May, and Restless 4 on 25th May. :O

Okay. I need to go do gpp-

"All we need is faith, hope, and a little luck-"
-A Labour of Love '07

2007-04-18T20:50:00.000+08:00

Today, dance was. Hmmmm.

At least we have dance again this Sat at 10.30am and this time it's just us without the SYF ppl- so we get to actually start on Restless items.

Anyway yes yes, Restless 4 tickets are out alr, THEY ARE SUPER LIMITED- so those who want to come watch ACJC dance, please grab your tickets as soon as possible. They're priced at $25 which is super worth it, (compared to $32/$52 for Westside, which all sold out anw so it doesnt matter-) and it's at NAFA, on the 23rd, 24th and 25th of May. That's a wed, thurs and fri. Don't buy tickets from me if you want friday because I'm getting my parents to go on friday and there's is quota limit to every dancer: we can only sell 5 tickets for each day, so as to regualte the entire ticket flow and to ensure that overselling of tickets do not happen.
The place is really quite small, less than 400 seats, but our show's going to be BIG.(x

Restless is always big.

Anw.
dumdeedum. I HAVE NTUC MUSICAL ON THE FIRST WEEK OF MAY AND I'M SO DEAD BECAUSE THEY'RE INVITING MRS KELVYNA CHAN. oh noooooooo. Hope she doesn't recognise me. I mean, oh shit she will, esp since I've known her since I was what, 13?!

Okay anw, here's something that I thought was worth quoting.
omg I so love Mr Eka Tanu.
I mean, his lit lectures.

we were discusing Brave New World chapt 3 by Huxley when Mr Tanu said this:
"...sleep with anyone & everyone. *pauses and gives the cant-you-see-I-am-thinking look* Class, please don't quote me on this."

LOL.
He is absolutely hilarious and his expressions put together with his sarcastic tone and choice of words always cracks us up during lit lectures. Hahaha.

And he was trying to show the contrast between how ppl courted each other in the imaginary world in Brave New World and with regards to today's world. And he was trying to imitate the girls of our time going ga-ga over guys when guys we like walk past and all, and he clapped his hands in the superrr bimbo manner with the wrists together.
haha it was priceless I tell you-

We should get more of such teachers.
They make lectures so interesting! (:

And now, I have to go and do some DEP stuff for tmr. Bahhs.
I SHALL SLEEP EARLIER TODAY. i will. i must.

bye world.(x

2007-04-16T21:07:00.000+08:00

I am thankful for the friends that I have in my life.

Thankyou Steven and Sabrina for accompanying me all the way to town to get my AC pullover (finally) and chilling out tgt.
Haha Sabrina, all the hot model chicks/dudes were nice to look at huh. Lol.(x
And Steven, you can stop being overly 'observant'.
Heh.

And I found out 3 new things today:
1) Moses, sab's and stev's friend, stays at Pasir Ris! WHEEEE ANOTHER EASTIE TO ADD TO MY LIST-
2) Sabrina's INDONESIAN. (did you know? she looks so much like the typical singaporean chinese! )
3) AND OMG, STEVEN'S BURMESE?! (related to our DM I reckon?)

yes I was in a bit of a shock after I found out.
haha I mean, it's not everyday you get to hang out with an indo-chinese and a burmese-chinese at the same time ;D

but we had a great time and we hung out at Starbuck's for awhile, where I got to drink caramel Frapp after 1870526852 days of not touching caffeine.
BUT BUT BUT.
this time the caffieine's not working- !

I'm so going to conk out any moment.

And yes, a thankyou in advance to steven who will be providing me with a personal planner for the year. hooray for steven! (:
and hooray to the world of organisation!
(steven you should really start FILING things..)

so yes.
there goes another Monday, which came and went without the Blues.
Cheers, people!

<3

2007-04-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

whoah.
I just realised my blog counter passed the 10,000 mark-

okay. So there are people actually reading this.
And I think more than 50 people have read this without tagging.(?!)

What am I, BORING?

Oh okay yes, need I ask the obvious.

Anyway, school's been pretty good. Had dance today, and as usual, was fun(:
And oh, we got our Mortals already. Hohoho I'm looking forward to this friday's dance camp- and Angel&Mortal! I haven't played A&M since forever.
Haha I can finally call myself an Angel again. *ding!points to halo*
LOL kidding.

Hm, which reminds me, I NEED TO GET LONG FLOWY PANTS, NEW LEATHER BALLET SHOES, NEW TIGHTS AND NEW LEOTARDS.
gahhhhhh
anyone up for 'shopping' tmr or thurs?

I so need chinese tuition. (again.)
But but but- I hate chinese tuition.
It seems like a real waste of time because chinese, and language in gerneral, needs time to improve and this improvement can hardly be tracked or seen at first.
So yes, chinese tuition to me is a waste of time.

I'm wasting my time.
GP, Math, Econs and CHINESE ZUO WEN beckons!

2007-04-09T05:01:00.000+08:00

I FINISHED MY PI
!*^$#@#!*&

finally!!

I'm happy and frickin tired.

2007-04-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

I feel much older.

Like I walked through this realm of age that separated youth from 'young adults' today-
I mean, I reminisced a lot and saw my younger self in others that sorta surprised even myself for awhile.
It was like seeing yourself in others and then remembering that at that age you felt that same way when someone treated you that way. Ah, it's confusing and I shan't begin to elaborate.

Easter Party by Genesis was a good attempt at bring people together and all however I felt that the people who really bonded were the people who already knew each other. But other than that, I could really tell that alot of effort was put into organising the games and the P&W sessions. Well done guys.(:

Well at least I did get to know new people in the church. Like Edmund and Bryan. OH, BRYAN! hahaha. My new favourite altar server. He looks like a 13 year old but he's really actually 16, Sec 4 this year. Haha.
I think I have a thing for younger guys. Or just generally guys who look young. LOL

Anyway, things were generally alright-
until.
Hmm, until I read that.
I mean, I swear I didn't feel a thing when we all hung out w everyone else today and all.
But then I was suddenly reminded-
And now it feels awfully empty.

I feel awful.
How juxtaposed to Easter and how we're supposed to be feeling- but nevermind. It's just me, so I'm worth ignoring.

Mass was good. I especially liked Father Fred's homily.
He talked about Fr Luke and it was pretty hilarious-about how they got to know each other and how they always used to clash.

Okay, so that's about it.
I have alot to do by tomorrow-
wish me luck.

2007-04-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

He has risen.(:

HAPPY EASTER MY FRIENDS!

Easter Vigil was great. I epecially liked the part when the congregation sang 'Welcome to the family' to welcome the newly-baptised. It sorta reminded me of my first day in PL when I was in sec 1 and the seniors sang that to welcome us.
Anyway,
our choir and we the cantors did an amazing job!
Father really acknowlegded our hard work too.

Haha which reminds me, I have another mass to cantor for at 6pm.
I love the psalm-

And oh oh oh! I almost forgot-
I went to watch Westside earlier today.
It was awesome!;D
all the hard work you guys put in really paid off man.
Like seriously, those never ending hours at practices, rehearsals, and all the behind the scenes work like doing the props and costumes- it all really made the musical very captivating.
I loved the dancing especially during those puerto ricans vs americans moments- the costimes' bright colours were really facinating. And I really have to take my hat off to Raj for the amazing choreography. He's really got my respect and admiration now.
(plus i'm really looking forward to the upcoming AC Dance camp.yeehaaaa.)
The lighting and sound was great too, everyone's voices were crystal clear, and even those who weren't miked could be heard very well.

And *cough* I saw someone there today.
I swear it was purely coincidental and nothing more okaaaaaay-
And yea,
Er I think he knows.
(shit. have i really been that obvious?)
=/
now I feel really stupid.
but oh well, at least he smiled. ( or i think he did.)

Dear Westsiders whom I know,
You guys did extremely well and I'm sure people out there would have been inspired by you guys. You guys pulled through! ;D It was facinating for me (and I'm sure for many other too) to sit there and see people whom I know on stage taking on different personas and characters so well and so convincingly that it's easy to get lost and absorbed in it. congratulations, you all were fantastic. (:
Haha Nicholas, I especially liked your Officer Krupke scene. :D It's like the trademark scene/song for the Jets. And it's really funny in a wry and ironic kinda way. And did I mention that everyone looked quite different onstage? (the wonders of makeup and lighting) Kester looked so stunning and sparkly in that well, SPARKLY suit of his. (x And Edlyn looked super graceful in her flowy costumes in those dance scenes.
And I think Mr Ibrahim and Mr Tan (both our DEP instructors) were spectacular. From the accent to the attitude and everything, haha it was so convincing.
And oh, 2 things that made me jump in my seat were the SUPER HIGH PITCHED EAR-PIERCING WHISTLE THAT REMUS WAS BLOWING as officer krumke (pfffft) and the DAMN LOUD AND SHOCKING GUNSHOT (wahlao eh) by dheraj as Chiko. That one really made everyone jump in therir seats.
I don't understand how he and the rest onstage can bear it every single time they do that scene. I swear it was reallllyyyyyyy loud.

Anyway,
it was just great la. I don't have to elaborate.
The tremendous amount of effort put into the production really showed. It makes every acsian proud of their school's theatre group, both alumni and present.

way to go!(:

2007-04-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

It's Good Friday-
and surprisingly it didn't actually rain this afternoon this year.

Hm.

On a second note, my ankle's better.
And thank you to all you guys out there who showed concern and cared about how I was doing.(:

~*~*tHe FatHeR's HaNd*~*~

~~tHe FatHeR's HaNd~~